Sick days

Dear Michael,

I can't sleep. I have been up for an hour and a half now and I am not getting any closer to that wonderful state called slumber. I miss you. I want to be able to just roll over and grab your hand and force you to snuggle me. That would cure my restlessness instantly. I miss you being next to me. I still feel like maybe if I just turn the corner fast enough, or climb up a special mountain, or drive to a specific place, maybe I will find you there waiting for me. It is really hard to accept that you aren't going to just call me up sometime soon to check up on how I am behaving while you are away...

I had an interesting week. I thought you would like to hear about it. Saturday Little E came down with a stomach bug. She is just like me, stomach bugs hit us both very hard. So I spent from 11:30 to 4 am catching her vomit in a bucket every half hour. The poor thing was so cuddly and sweet. She even figured out to aim for the bucket and let me know when she needed it. She is turning into such a big girl! I am amazed as I watch her grow. She is just so strong already and so very like you. I really missed you that night. I know it wasn't a pleasant experience but I really wanted it to be you that was helping me through this first, just like you helped me through all her other firsts... The next couple of days she had diarrhea and just didn't seem to be feeling much better. So we took her and her cousin to the doctor (They both had the bug, but cousin only threw up 2 times... she is so like her mommy too). He figured out it was bacterial and gave us some antibiotics.

They began feeling better very quickly after we got those, but I caught it the next day. Just like Little E I spent the whole day next to the porcelain god. It was so miserable. I couldn't sleep because I felt too sick, and eventually I got so dehydrated my arms and legs were tingly like they had fallen asleep. So Amber and I had to go up to Labor and Delivery at the hospital and get me a couple of bags of IV fluid... You know how much I hate needles! You would have been very proud of me. I didn't even move a muscle while she poked me. I really wanted you there to hold my hand, but Amber kept me pretty well entertained. We were stuck there for 2 hours, but I felt much better by the time I left. Maybe and IV isn't so bad, but I still hate needles!

I had an interesting thought today, and wanted to share it with you. I don't know if you remember my family history very well, but my great grandma lost both her son and husband to the big flu epidemic. She still had grandma and was pregnant with her sister. I just had this story pop into my head this morning and realized that I had never really thought about how this poor woman had felt. What her life must have been like and how it was all turned upside down in an instant. I never thought I would have so much in common with her... My dad told me a funny story about this time though. I guess she was very depressed and didn't want to have the baby anymore. She told all of her friends that she didn't know how she would handle it and that she wanted to give the baby away. Well, the day she got home with the baby, a good friend of hers showed up at the door with a baby basket and said, "I have everything ready. Where is the baby? I am here to take her home with me." This made Great Grandma realize that she really did want the baby and what a blessing she would be. I think that friend was so great! What a funny way to help someone realize that they can do the hard things. :)

This made me start to think about our new baby and how you were probably giving him all kinds of instructions on how to live an eventful life... then I thought about who else was up there with you helping him out. I am a little nervous now because I know grandpa is up there helping, and even scarier great grandpa Howie is up there! He was my grandmas step dad and never stopped pulling pranks and giving those two girls a hard time! I am sure together you three are preparing me quite a little trickster! Please go easy on me. I don't know how I will handle this little boy if you send him too well prepared and with to many tricks up his sleeves.

Well, I had better try to get a couple more hours of sleep or I won't make it through the day. I love you very dearly. It was nice to feel like I got to talk to you. I am sure you can read this and that you are watching over us. Just please keep my sanity in mind when training this little boy!

Your adoring wife