First Time Reading the Bedtime Story.

Dear Michael,

Do you remember our Big and Little book that we got at story time? Little E decided that tonight she was going to read a bedtime story to me. She read the whole thing and was so proud of herself at the end. I know it wasn't really reading, she just new the words by heart and could tell what to say by the pictures, but it was really fun to see her enjoying a book all on her own. I think she is going to be an avid reader someday just like her Mom and Dad.

Just in case I lose the book someday, I thought I would record it here so she would know what her first ever bedtime story was.

By Samantha Berger and Pamela Chanko
Big dog and little dog.
Big elephant and little elephant.
Big bear and little bear.
Big hand and little hand.
Big bike and little bike.
Big chair and little chair.
Big leaf and little leaf.
Big boat and little boat.
Big house and little house.
Big tree and little tree.
Big sandcastle and little sandcastle.
Both the same size! (with a picture of twin brothers)

She was really cute when she started out because she said the words for the last page then shook her head and said, "Sorry sorry sorry, that was the wrong words! That was silly!" It was pretty funny.

Love,
Jenny

Daddy Sleep Talks

Dear Michael,

Right around our anniversary I was laying with Little E in our bed and we were playing some of our usual games. Then Little E looked at me and said "You are on your side of the bed and I am on Daddy's side of the bed." I told her that was right and asked if she remembered you sleeping there. She said, "Yes, Daddy sleep talks." I asked her what you said and she replied "If you kiss me I'll wake up!" It made me so happy to know that she still has true memories of you. I know that the likelihood of her really remembering you into adulthood is very small, but for now she still remembers. She was talking about our game we played where we would pretend to be asleep and she would "kiss us awake" like sleeping beauty. She loved sneaking into our room with me to wake you up first thing in the morning and you always feigned such intense surprise with a great big smile on your face and said "You woke me up!" or "Good morning!" or something else and then you would grab her and kiss her sweet little face. Sometimes you had to remind her to kiss you and you would do it with your eyes still closed while you pretended to be asleep. That was exactly what she was remembering. It is moments like this that remind me how lucky we are to have such sweet and wonderful memories of you. You were and are one of the most amazing men I have ever known. The way you adored our daughter still touches my heart in a way I cannot express deeply enough. We still love you Daddy. I only wish we could kiss you awake one more time...

I want to include here one of the stories you were so fond of telling about our little girl. It was one you loved to pull out during a party or something to get a few good laughs. You were jumping on the trampoline with Little E and then you decided to lie down in the middle of the tramp and our little 14-16 month old crawled over to you and tried to wake you up even though you weren't even pretending to be asleep. She had a cold at the time and you ended up with an extremely wet and juicy kiss. The way you laughed during this story still brings a great big smile to my face.

Love,
Jenny



I love this video. This is about the right age for the story I shared above. She is 16 months in the video and loving the attention Daddy lavished on her that night. This was a very common nightly routine at our house. They loved egging each other on. :)
It amazes me how much of Little E I see in Little M now. A lot of the movements and noises in this movie look just like him!

6th Wedding Anniversary.

Dear Michael,

Wow, I can't beleive that it has been an entire year since I wrote this post. I was so emotional that day that I couldn't even write what I had done for our anniversary. I decided I would just record it later and I never did. This year went so much better! I can't beleive the difference that a year can make. Today in church someone talked about how when you climb a mountain you should look back at where you have already been and realize how far you have come instead of focusing on how much you have left to climb. I feel that this is something I really need to work on. I have been struggling lately on feeling overwhelmed by how little I know about my future and how much time I have left before I get to see you again. It would help me a lot if I could just focus on how much better our little family is doing and how much we have grown in the last year.

For our 5th anniversary I went to the temple and spent a good portion of the trip in tears. At one point I had a full breakdown and a sweet temple worker talked to me and helped to calm me down. It didn't help that I was only a few weeks out from having a new baby. I remember realizing that our anniversary would be that close to when Little M was due and telling you what a bad anniversary it would be, I had no idea then how bad it could really be. After going to the temple my sister took me to get a pedicure and when the girl asked some questions I just pretended that you were still alive and wished that I could make myself beleive it too. Afterward I was able to go visit you by myself which was a very rare thing back then. So while it was probably a very healing day in some ways, it was also one of the very hardest days of that entire first year.

This year was very similar in what I did, but the emotions were so different! I went to the temple with Little E and Little M and my Mom and Dad helped us to take some wonderful family pictures. Little E absolutely loves her new "princess dress" and begs to wear it whenever she sees it in the closet. They weren't all that cooperative, but we ended up with some beautiful pictures. Little E loved to twirl in front of the temple and got to see a bride in her wedding dress and was even able to smell her flowers. She had asked me on the way down if she could do that and was so happy when it actually happened. :) She loves the idea of getting married in the temple someday.

My Mom took the kids home and then Dad and I were able to do some temple work, we even got to do some work for my dads great aunt Ethel. It was really nice to have him there and this time I only felt peace while I was inside the temple. I didn't cry at all.

After the temple the kids and I went and picked out a yellow silk flower for you and took it out to Daddy's place. Little E helped me pull some clover that was growing around your marker and told you all about preschool while Little M crawled around saying "dadadadada". I thought that was interesting because he really doesn't say that sound very much. Most of the time he just talks gibberish or says one of his real words (mama, dog, this, hi). He even took a couple of steps towards your stone without any help.

That night my sisters and I had a pizza and movie party. We watched Xmen 1st class. It was a lot of fun to hang out with them and laugh at the movie together. My dad even started watching it after a while. I am still not sure if he liked it, but it was funny to have him join in the girl fun. When I say girl fun, I mean it too. We had popcorn, chocolate, dr. Pepper, and fingernail polish. What more could we need?

After that I stumbled into bed a little after midnight and was happy with the way the day had gone. Laughter and service  goes much better together than tears and service. I am grateful for how far I have come up this mountain that I get to climb and I am still so grateful for the choice I made 6 years ago in marrying you. No matter what hardships I may have to face and the pain this last year brought without you by my side, I will forever be grateful for the chance I have to be your wife.

Love,
Jenny

They both loved these roses. Little M spent a  lot of time pointing at them and saying "is! is!" which is his version of "this". He thought they were so neat!

Twirling in her princess dress.

She loves to curtsy and say "Your Majesty!" like on Alice in wonderland.

Peek a Boo!

He did not want to stay on my lap! :)

 These next three shots crack me up! Little M was making my mom work really hard to carry him back to the car. So she just threw him over her shoulder and he kept sitting up, laughing at her, and throwing himself back over her shoulder. :) I love that we got a picture of this because he loves her so much and it totally shoes in these pictures. Whenever she comes over he throws himself into her arms.

Little M's First Steps!

Dear Michael,
Little M took his first steps tonight! We went to visit our neighbors for a few minutes and when we came home Little E wanted to check the mailbox to see if we had mail. I took Little M inside and Trek was freaking out because Little E was still out by the mailbox. I got his jacket off and put him down and he took 4 steps across the living room floor towards Trek and fell on his face. He started giggling and crawled at top speed to get to the dog. I have to laugh at his timing because Little E took her first steps the day before my little sister got married at their wedding dinner. Tomorrow is our 6 year anniversary. I don't know why our kids like the day before instead of the day of a wedding/anniversary, but at least it makes things easier for me to remember! :)

I am sure you are so excited for every step this little man is taking and were probably cheering him on with me. He is such a blast and I can't help but laugh at all of his crazy antics and the way that he loves to shake his head all the time. He even does it when he crawls across the floor. I don't even know how he can tell where he is going sometimes. lol

We took his one year shots last week and as soon as I get them back I will have to post them for Grandma and Grandpa to see.

Love,
Jenny

More!

Dear Michael,

Yesterday I needed to go shopping but decided to go with the kids after nap time instead of dragging two tired grumpy kids through the store to get enough food for lunch and then going back for the bigger shopping trip later. So I just zipped through the Wendy's drive through and got some food on our way home from my Mom's. Little M loved the chili and especially loved his first ever saltine cracker. I gave it to him and after his first bite he started giggling and kept giggling with each bite after. Guess he loves them just as much as you did. :)

Yummy Saltine Cracker!!

During our bedtime snack last night he discovered the power of signing the word more. Little E figured this out at her 1st birthday for ice cream. We have a video on your old phone of it. He figured it out for his oatmeal and fruit and does it by clapping his hands. I could see the wheels in his little head turning as he figured it out. His thoughts went something like this. "You mean when I do this Mommy gives me more food? That is awesome!!! I am doing this after every bite! I LOVE food!!" He cracks me up.