We have really been missing you a lot the past few days around here. I know part of the reason for me is knowing that the year mark is coming up and that makes things very hard for me, but Little E seems to be feeling it too. I don't know what is causing it for her. Maybe its the fact that everything is so similar to last year, but you aren't here. She jumps on the trampoline, we weed, the raspberries are coming on, but you aren't here to enjoy it all with her. For the last few days she has burst into tears at random moments and cried out, "I really miss Daddy!" I ask her what she misses and she says "for him to play with me and jump on the trampoline..." I have been wondering if she really is missing you or just feeling my stress and trying to play off of it to get away with her fits. She did a lot of that last summer and I have to really watch my reactions so that I show enough sympathy if its real without encouraging fake tears. Well, last night I woke up after having a dream about you and just wishing it had been real. I had a really hard time falling back asleep, and then Little E woke up screaming in the other room this morning. I went in and got her calmed down and asked her what was wrong. She said "I didn't want you to twist my balloons!" I asked her what balloons and she said "The ones at Daddy's place. I didn't get to go with them. I threw them up up high in the air, and they flew away. But Daddy still has them. But I didn't get to go with them." She was remembering when we went for your birthday and sent off balloons. I never thought it would upset her that she didn't get to fly away with them to see you, but that makes sense. I wish there were a way to let her fly away for a little while just to visit you. She misses you so very much. I am a little worried because I had planned on doing the balloon thing on your "Heaven Day" but maybe that wouldn't be a good idea... I will have to think about it and feel it out. I want to do something that she can be involved in, but I don't want to upset her. I wish you were here to give me some good ideas.
Like I said, we are really missing you...
Love,
Jenny
1 comment:
Oh, that angel! That must be so hard to comfort her and to know what she's feeling; she's so young. Maybe you guys can write a special song for him that you can play on the guitar instead of balloons? That's a toughie.
We're thinking of you guys and praying for you.
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