Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Mountains In The Distance

Tonight as I drove home I saw a beautiful sight. It was a golden sunset with vivid purple mountains below it. As I looked at those mountains they got me thinking. Eternity is like those mountains. During the day, I almost never notice them. They are visible in the distance, but not very clearly. They definitely don't draw much attention. But when the end of the day draws near, and the sun sets behind them they become beautifully clear. They have such detail and I would look at them for hours if I could, although the sun sets quickly and I only glimpse them for a short moment.

Now that I have painted that picture for you, allow me to explain how they are like Eternity. Eternity is always there, if we focus on it we will see it brightly in our future. But most of the time our everyday lives get in the way and we just don't notice. However, as we enter the sunset of our lives, it becomes our focus.

Now I want to paint a new picture for you. Michael proposed to me on top of R mountain, it is a Butte that overlooks this same mountain range. At the time there was a thunderstorm raging in the distance. I could see the lightning flash behind those mountains and focused on the storm as Michael fumbled clumsily behind me trying to get the ring out of its plastic and into the box to propose. Now when I think back to that storm, I realize that it is very much like grief. It was turbulent, powerful, and dark. However, it helped me to see those mountains just as well as the beautiful sunset, at times maybe even more clearly. Grief brings eternity into focus in a way that nothing else can. I am often grateful for the way that this experience has changed my life. The ways it has forced me to focus on what is truly important.

This beautiful photo shows both the mountain range as I saw it tonight and R Mountain on the left of the Temple. To see it larger please visit Flicker.  

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Decision making

As you have probably noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. One of my goals for this winter has been to get my life in order. That includes organizing our home (I am nearly through with the first floor and will soon move into the basement where my real work will begin). I also want to organize all of our family photos with stories. So instead of blogging here I started a private blog and have slowly tried to keep up with what we are currently doing while working backwards through our photos. It is a long and time consuming process. I was considering letting this blog go because I haven't felt like there was time to keep it up while working on the other projects too. But I looked today and it seems like there are still a lot of people looking at my blog. I was wondering who you were and if you wanted me to continue blogging here, even if they are only short posts. I am not sure if this blog has been helpful to others. Maybe it is just family and friends looking here, in which case I can just keep them up to date on facebook. Maybe its just people who randomly found my blog, look at it once, and never come back. But if there are people who actually care to have me continue, just let me know and I will try. If this blog is helping others it is worth the effort. If not, I will continue to work on my goals and maybe come back to this blog in the summer when I have gotten through more of our past stories.
Thanks,
Jenny

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Family Newsletter 2011

Happy Holidays. This year we did our newsletter through email. But I managed to get a screen shot of it and will add the newsletter below. We hope this Holiday Season brought all of you joy and wonderful memories.







Dear Friends and Family,

What an amazing year 2011 has been. I honestly feel like the whole year has been on fast forward. We have had so many wonderful experiences. In the beginning of the year we were blessed to have my nephew Alan live with us. It was wonderful to hang out with him. He has always been so much fun to be around and it was great to see the amazing person he is becoming. He is currently serving an LDS mission in Italy and I couldn’t be more proud.

I have been able to attend 2 LDS widows conferences in Bountiful, UT this year. The people I have met there have had a vast impact on how I perceive the world that I have found myself living in. I enjoyed some very choice experiences there and am very grateful for the wonderful people that put their heart and souls into making such a supportive group.

One of the things I have discovered this year is that I LOVE reorganizing and redoing the rooms in our home.  At first I felt like I couldn’t move or touch anything because I couldn’t face the idea of change, but now I find myself loving every picture I put up, and whenever I become more organized our home runs more smoothly and I end up a happier mommy. It has been very therapeutic for me every time I have made something my own.

This summer was filled with family and fun. In May we were able to take a trip with my parents to visit lots of family and friends.  (Uncle Bob, Grandma and Grandpa Hamilton, Grannie Annie,  Missy, Grandma and Grandpa M, and the Carlson’s.) We were also able to visit the place where Michael passed away for the first time. It is beautiful there and I felt such peace. I am sure that he is happy and content with how Heavenly Father planned this, and that brings me peace too.  The whole trip was filled to the brim with amazing people and places and I am so grateful that my parents helped us to go so we could visit everyone.

When we came home we were able to celebrate Michael’s birthday by having his new monument stone delivered. It turned out perfectly and I am very happy to have something at “daddy’s place” for the children to look for and recognize. Little E loves visiting and often gives his picture a kiss. She is such a sweet and tender girl.

We had a lot of work and fun in our yard this year. We had a beautiful garden that gave us more than we could use. Little E was just talking about how she wants to grow tomatoes again next summer. She was a great little helper in the garden, and Little M was pretty patient with me while I had him sit in the stroller as I weeded.

We were lucky enough to get a new sprinkler system installed this year! I am so happy to not have to pull hoses anymore while watching my lawn die a slow yellow death. Yay!

At the end of the summer we were able to attend the K family reunion. It was such a blast! I loved getting to spend time with some of the family that I hadn’t really ever known before. The talent show was pretty amazing too. But my favorite part was jamming on the guitar with my nephew Dainon. I am definitely going to have to learn more songs so we can play together next time we see each other.

The highlight of the summer for me was doing my first ever Sprint Triathlon. I did the Rush with my sister in law Jen. It was a very difficult course, but I was able to finish without ever having to stop and walk. It was so amazing to work for something for months and be able to reach my goal. I think I may be hooked. Next year I think I will invest in a road bike though. That hill was a beast on a mountain bike!

Fall and winter have gone by very quickly. Three of my siblings moved closer to home and we have had a wonderful time getting to play with all of them. We had a great Halloween where we dressed up as a family. Little E was a kitty, Little M was a doggy, and I was an animal control officer. I thought it was fitting. :)
Thanksgiving was spent at my brothers new home. It was a lot of fun to go somewhere new this year. Christmas this year looks like it will be filled to the very brim with family fun! I can’t wait to see Little E and Little M’s faces on Christmas morning. It is so great to have kids during the holidays. They make it so magical.

Updates on The Kids.

Little E has had many growing experiences this year. On valentines day I asked her what she wanted to do and she asked to go to a farm and milk a cow. So that’s what we did. It was her first experience with live cows and chickens and she had a great time. She still talks about going to the farm to see the animals. She also had her first ever hair cut this March and still tells people that she just got a hair cut. Its pretty funny how certain things excite her and stay with her.

In April she had a run in with a corner and enjoyed her first ER visit where they glued her forehead back together. She was a champ and stayed very still for the doctor.

In May she turned 3 years old and we had a big birthday party that was Dinosaur Train themed. Her Great Grandma Phyllis had just passed away, and we had all of our family home for the funeral which made for a fun cousin filled party. We got to ride on a mini train and everyone loved it, especially Little E!

She has really matured this year. She is fully potty trained, learned how to ride a running bike, and started preschool. She loves going to school and often writes letters for me. She knows a lot of them and even knows how to sign them. She is working on writing her own name right now. Her favorite toys right now are eggs, even the rocks she finds outside become a part of her vast egg collection. She has become my little helper and I don’t know what I would do without her.

Little M has changed so much this year! He went from not even being able to sit up on his own to running around the living room. He got to have his first ER visit this year too when he swallowed a bead decoration from my cell phone. We just x-rayed him to make sure everything was fine while he flirted with the nurses.

He has learned several signs including doggy, milk, all done, more, drink, eat, book, and fishy. He is very good at communicating what he needs and is a self entertainer. One of his favorite pastimes is sitting in his sisters closet and looking through all of her books. He also loves to stand at the top of the stairs and shake the gate like king kong. He has grown so big during this year that he can see over the top of the table and has just learned how to open my closet doors. As my mom often says “In’t he HUGE!”  He had a really fun experience this summer where he got to sit in a Ferrari, and he is definitely all boy. He was grinning from ear to ear and grabbing onto the steering wheel or any other part of the car he could reach.

He turned a year in September and we had a ball themed party for him. He thought the cake was awesome and had a great time playing with his cousins and all of the fun toys they got him. He absolutely loves his family. He enjoys pestering his younger cousin and can’t get enough of Papa (my Dad). He will throw a fit if Papa walks in the room and doesn’t pay enough attention to him. My dad has affectionately nicknamed him “Toad” and he loves it. He also adores his sister who can keep him happy and entertained when everything I try has failed. They are such wonderful companions to each other and I am so grateful for both of them.

We hope that you are all having an amazing Holiday Season and look forward to another great year with all of you in our lives.

Merry Christmas!
Jenny, Little E, and Little M

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Little M walking, And he's off!



November 1st Little M learned how to walk for more than just 2 to 4 steps at a time! He just decided it was going to be fun to walk all the way across our living room and did it. He spent all evening walking back and forth from one couch to the other. Since then walking has been something that he constantly practices and before long I am pretty sure I won't be able to keep up with him. What a fun stage this has been, especially with big sister cheering him on. She is constantly updating me on his progress. "Mom! He's walking! Now he's not. Now he's walking again!" She can't wait for him to be able to play duck duck goose and tag with her. They sure do love each other.

Holding our son

Dear Michael,

Today I was holding our son while feeding him his bottle before nap time and thinking to myself about how much he has grown and all the ways he has changed in the past month. I have been really struggling with how large he has gotten because it has physically started hurting me to carry him and take care of his needs. I try to do things in a smart way (use a baby carrier when I can, feed him his bottle in a different position every night so I don't throw out my back etc). I can remember this phase with Little E and having to get a wrist brace because my arm couldn't take the strain of helping her walk. This makes me sound really weak, but frankly, your kids are huge! lol I wonder where they got that from?

Anyways, I was feeling kind of sad because he is weaning himself right now and I am down to nursing him 1 time a day. I just don't want to let go of this time with him. I have no guarantee that I will ever get to do this again. I know people always say "You are young, you will get remarried and have more children." But I have learned that there are no real promises of what our future holds save one. Death. That sounds morbid but it also means we will someday see all our loved ones again and be reunited with our savior. Doesn't sound that bad to me actually. Anyways, I was feeling bad for myself and then I had a thought. You never got to hold him. Not even once. How much would you have given to hold our baby boy in your arms? How much would you give to help catch him as he learns to toddle across our living room floor? I need to stop focusing on what I don't have promised to me in the future and instead enjoy the wonders of what I get to experience today, right now! My life is so beautiful and I need to take it all in for you as well as for me.  I need to have a grateful heart so that it will be more open for the wonders that our Heavenly Father has in store for my future. I am working on it honey, and I gave him an extra special hug today and held him a little tighter just for you.

Love,
Jenny

Monday, November 7, 2011

Temple Visitors Center FHE


Dear Michael,
For Family Home Evening tonight we went and looked at the amazing sculpture display at the Temple visitors center. The first thing Little E said as we walked in was "Look mommy! Its Jesus!" And then with her little hands over her mouth in awe she kept saying "I've never seen that before." She loved it when the missionary made "Jesus talk" by playing the recording of special scriptures inviting us to come unto Christ. On our way home she told me that Jesus wants her to be good and nice. She even gave him a kiss goodbye. Love that girl. What a sweet and special night. I have really been struggling to do FHE lately because it seems like they are so young that nothing comes of it. Tonight definitely proved me wrong! Not only did she seem to love the experience, it almost brought tears to my eyes to see her so happy to be near this beautiful statue of our savior. I felt better than I have in a long time after tonight and am going to have to make a special effort to keep doing FHE for our little family. More for me than anything else.
Love,
Jenny

Monday, October 17, 2011

First Time Reading the Bedtime Story.

Dear Michael,

Do you remember our Big and Little book that we got at story time? Little E decided that tonight she was going to read a bedtime story to me. She read the whole thing and was so proud of herself at the end. I know it wasn't really reading, she just new the words by heart and could tell what to say by the pictures, but it was really fun to see her enjoying a book all on her own. I think she is going to be an avid reader someday just like her Mom and Dad.

Just in case I lose the book someday, I thought I would record it here so she would know what her first ever bedtime story was.

By Samantha Berger and Pamela Chanko
Big dog and little dog.
Big elephant and little elephant.
Big bear and little bear.
Big hand and little hand.
Big bike and little bike.
Big chair and little chair.
Big leaf and little leaf.
Big boat and little boat.
Big house and little house.
Big tree and little tree.
Big sandcastle and little sandcastle.
Both the same size! (with a picture of twin brothers)

She was really cute when she started out because she said the words for the last page then shook her head and said, "Sorry sorry sorry, that was the wrong words! That was silly!" It was pretty funny.

Love,
Jenny