Life is like a tiny room.

Dear Michael,

Today went pretty well. It was the first day without your Mom hear to help me and I managed pretty well if I do say so myself. I got a shower and had two (mostly) happy children and even got a nap in. I plan on going to bed very shortly but wanted to record a few thoughts first. Mom and I went shopping for a stove for me in Idaho Falls this afternoon at Sears. While we were at the mall I went into the little nursing lounge to take care of Little M. While nursing him I looked around that tiny room with its blank walls. I listened to the people walking by outside. This made me think about how life is. While we are living life it seems to be all that there is. You can't see out of it, just like I couldn't see out of that room. It is all that we know and I realized today that it is really quite small. Like that room is only a small portion of the world, it is only a tiny portion of what our real life is. Eternity is so vast and almost impossible to comprehend. But that is where we really belong.

If I had spent my whole life in that little room and never seen beyond its door I would have no ability to comprehend what the rest of the mall was like. Right now I sit and try to think of how this will all eventually work out, or what you might be doing, or how I get to spend eternity with you, but I just can't wrap my mind around any of it. I am stuck in life and I can't see out of it. I know that is how life is supposed to work, but it can be a little frustrating to be stuck behind the veil at times.

I know this is kind of rambling on right now but I guess I just wanted to tell you that I got a small glimpse today on how small life really is. This isn't forever, and compared to the eternity I get to spend with you it is very very small. Its just hard to remember that when life is all we know and can see. But I also realized that you only get to do life once. It is such a short part of our eternal experience and we only get every day one time. We never get a do over. I am going to try my hardest to keep this perspecitive in mind during the hard days. I love you. Please continue to help me and the rest of our family through this difficult time.

I love you, I miss you!
Jenny