I am going to tell you about the rest of our Christmas and what I have been up to later. But for now I just want a minute to be sad...
It has finally happened. I am living in a year that you never lived to see. I never ever wanted that to happen. I wanted us to die together in our old age, while sleeping together in our bed. I don't even know how to live in a new year without you. I guess I just keep on going the way that I have been, taking things a day at a time and mostly just trying to keep the children happy. But it is sure going to be hard. Sometimes it seems almost impossible. I really really miss you! I wish so badly that this new years was more like last year when we were able to run down the streets together trying to make as much noise as possible to annoy the neighbors. I hate knowing that we never get to do that again. I know a new year should be something that brings hope and a spirit of renewed strength, and tomorrow it probably will, but for now it just makes me unhappy that I have to keep moving forward. I just wish time could stop, that I could be done before having to take on 2011 too. But that isn't life. Life never stops, and I just have to get strong enough to handle it...
Anyways, Happy new years honey. I don't know what it will bring, but I will try to make it great for our children.
Thanks for letting me mope for a minute...
I love you and miss you terribly,
Jenny
2 comments:
Loved reading your evening of posts :) you are so incredible and 2011 will be a year for you and the babies to prosper! I have watched quietly from the sidelines not wanting to interfere and the jenny going into this year is a stronger and more spiritual jenny than the one we all knew last year. Love you! Game night with us this weekend?
I am so sorry. Your posts just make me cry. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes! And I pray I will never have to! Unless I'm old. You're so strong! Keep moving, keep going and you will be surprised at how far you'll be able to go! I wish you much happiness, good health and joy during this yr... although you will always miss your sweetie... you only have a choice to keep going. You can do it! People you don't even know are cheering you on!
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